


So Men Say That I'm Intense or I'm Insane

by Kassidee



Series: So Men Say That I'm Intense or I'm Insane [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A lot of things piss her off, Alexandra - Freeform, Alexandra can't fight in the War, Bad at tagging, But also Hamilton, F/M, First Hamilton Fanfic, Genderbent Characters, Hamilton - Freeform, Lafayette and Herc are kinda brother figures for her, People won't stop pointing out that she's a female, Pisses her off, Set in the Revolutionary War, She's a powerful female, She's in love with two people, also my first work on here, it's irritating, not historically accurate, she's basically me, she's roommates with the three amigos, that's irritating as well, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassidee/pseuds/Kassidee
Summary: Alexandra Hamilton moves to New York City to aid in the Revolution. The fact that she's a woman doesn't stop her even though people think it should. She's been dubbed "The Mother of the Revolution" and won't give her revolution up for love.Love can wait until they're free.





	1. Just You Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, some of the parts of the story are adapted from the songs and may not seem to flow naturally. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry about that, but it was the best I could manage.

Alexandra Hamilton was convinced that she was going to be the one who freed the colonies from the tight and ruthless grip of King George. Sure, it was the 18th century, and sure, she was a woman, but she was a brilliant woman who had dedicated herself to studying every book on law or anything related to politics that she could get her hands on. It probably didn’t help that she was born out of wedlock, or that her father had left her and her mother high and dry in the West Indies. Not that Alexandra committed much thought to that fact. If he didn’t care, neither should she.  
What Alexandra really cared about was the fact that she lost her mother two years later to a sickness they’d both had, and she couldn’t help wondering why the Lord didn’t take her instead. She’d moved in with a cousin of hers, who was unstable and committed suicide. She’d lost everything then that made the Indies worth staying in. But she couldn’t leave at such a young age, so she worked for the landlord until now.  
Now, she was nineteen and headed for New York, “the greatest city in the world”, they called it. She would see for herself if that was true. She was excited. Maybe overly excited, but this was just such a bright light at the end of such a dark tunnel. How could she not smile over the waters?  
Eventually, she made it to New York City.

Here she was in New York City, searching for a man by the name of Aaron Burr. She supposed a man like that, if she’d overheard his reputation right, would be at a pub. He liked to lay low, they’d said, and a pub would be a perfect place to keep a low profile.  
Aaron Burr looked up to see a woman approaching him. Now, what does this woman want? He thought. When she got closer, he noticed that she was a pretty woman, but her eyes weren’t as sparkly as many other females and there was also an uncertainty in them, and her smile seemed more out of courtesy than genuine gladness to meet him.  
“Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?” she asked him.  
Burr sighed. “That depends, who’s asking?”  
Alexandra smiled wider, mostly amused by the fact that this man was so vague. “Alexandra Hamilton, sir. I’ve been looking for you.”  
That was a little unnerving, Aaron thought. “I’m getting nervous.”  
Alexandra nodded. “I’m sorry. I heard your name at Princeton. I was there, seeking an accelerated course of study when things kind of got out of hand with whom I believe is a friend of yours. You might say I punched him--don’t laugh, Burr. A woman can hit, too. The man I punched, I believe, handles the financials at Princeton.”  
Burr raised an eyebrow, even more unsettled by this woman’s unusual attitude. A type like this, especially a female, could get in big trouble for being so open and reckless. “You punched the bursar?”  
Alexandra nodded. “Yes, I did. See, I wanted to graduate in two years like you did, Burr. Then I wanted to join the revolution after I graduate. He looked at me like I was stupid. Trust me, I am not stupid. Might’ve also been because I’m a female. Anyways, how did you graduate so fast?”  
“It was my parent’s dying wish before they passed,” Aaron said, debating internally whether or not he should mention that a woman could not serve in the war. The look on Alexandra’s face told him that she’d already been told something like that and refused to just back down because of it.  
“You’re an orphan! So am I. I wish there was a war than we could prove that a lack of parents doesn’t mean we’re worthless.”  
Burr was startled by Alexandra’s mention of war, afraid someone would hear and it would stir something up that didn’t need to be stirred. “Alexandra, can I buy you a drink?”  
“If you insist,” Alexandra said, her expression unreadable.  
“While we’re at it, I need to give you some advice,” Burr said, ignoring Alexandra’s “Now, do you?”  
“Talk less,” he said.  
Alexandra raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Smile more,” he continued.  
Alexandra refrained from rolling her eyes and gave a small grin.  
“Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for,” Burr said.  
Alexandra felt like this Aaron Burr character was only repeating what she had been told was a “real lady”. Sit still, look pretty, right? Alexandra Hamilton was having none of that.  
“You can’t be serious, Burr,” Alexandra said.  
“You wanna get ahead?”  
“Yes,” Alexandra cast a glare at Burr.  
“Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.”  
Burr said this just as three males at the bar started to get rowdy.  
“What time is it?” One of the men called.  
“Show time!” The other men responded.  
“Like I said,” Burr said with a sigh afterwards.  
“I’m John Laurens!” The first man introduced himself loudly. “I’ve had two, yes, two pints of Sam Adams, but I’m having a third one right now. I’ll tell ya, those redcoats don’t want to start anything with me because I will fight until I am free.”  
Alexandra turned with a smile to face these men. They sounded like revolutionaries, and that was the kind she was looking for. Burr noticed this and frowned. Had nothing he said gotten through to her?  
“Oui, oui, mon ami, je m'appelle Lafayette. Though you can call me the Lancelot of this revolutionary set. I came from afar just to say bonsoir, tell the King casse-toi. Who’s the best? C’est moi!” Alexandra grinned at the quirkiness of this young Frenchman.  
“And I,” the third man shouted, “am Hercules Mulligan, up in it, lovin’ it, hey, John, I heard your mother said ‘come again’! Lock up your daughters and horses, of course it’s hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets.”  
Alexandra chuckled at this man’s crude humor. She liked the vibe of this trio.  
“No more sex,” John chuckled, “pour me another brew, son, let’s raise a couple more to the revolution!”  
As they raised their glasses, the trio noticed Aaron Burr.  
“Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Princeton college,” John said.  
“Aaron Burr,” Hercules added.  
“Well, come on, now, give us some knowledge,” John smirked, and he seemed to be mocking Burr.  
“No, men, you’re taking a risky stand here. You keep talking, I’ll just sit here, and we’ll see where we end up, how about that?” Burr said, some sort of cockiness in his tone.  
“Burr, this is a revolution we can’t avoid, what do you stall for?” John asked.  
“If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?” Alexandra said before she could stop herself.  
The four men turned to her. 

This girl was the most beautiful woman John Laurens had ever laid eyes on, and what was even better was that she was standing up for what she believed in. “Who are you?” he asked.  
“Who are you?” Hercules asked also.  
“Who are you? Who is this girl, what’s she gonna do?” Lafayette asked. 

Burr sighed and got up from his seat. “Alexandra,” he said, “take my advice into consideration, yeah?” With that, he left. 

“So, I take it you’re a revolutionary, miss?” John asked, looking at the woman who seemed somewhat offended by Burr’s last remarks.  
“Indeed. Something needs to change,” she said, “and I’m going to make that happen. I’ve got a brain that would outdo most, and a passion for my country, and I’m not letting that go to waste.”  
“Aren’t you a woman?” Hercules asked. “What can you do?”  
“The question is, ‘what can’t I do’, Mr. Mulligan,” Alexandra retorted.  
“You remind me of a Queen, mademoiselle,” Lafayette said.  
“Thank you, Mr. Lafayette.”  
“I believe I heard Mr. Burr address you as Alexandra,” John said, “did I hear that correctly?”  
“Yes, Mr. Laurens.”  
“Please, call me John,” John said, holding out a hand for Alexandra to shake.  
Alexandra took it and shook, and John noticed that her hand was soft yet she had a firm grip. “Alexandra Hamilton.”  
“You’re a revolutionary, oui? So much so that you’d be willing to lay down your life for the cause?” Lafayette asked Alexandra, whose smiling face went serious.  
“Of course. Why stand for something if you’re not willing to risk your life for it?” Alexandra said, the passion in her voice intriguing the three men, especially Laurens.  
“Yes, ma’am, but I don’t believe we will be truly free until the slaves are free, as well,” he said.  
“None of that will happen, though, if nothing is done about it,” Alexandra said.  
“You sure they won’t mind that you’re a woman?” Hercules asked. John was considering hitting him with a chair if he mentioned that again.  
“As I’ve said before, Hercules, even a sister has to rise up,” John pointed out.  
Hercules nodded. “Let’s see what you can do, Miss Hamilton.” 

“Hear ye, hear ye, my name is Samuel Seabury,” a man said from atop a table in the pub.  
“Are you serious?” Alexandra commented. “He’s on the table.”  
“And I present Free Thoughts on the Proceedings of the Continental Congress. ‘Heed not the rabble who scream Revolution! They have not your interests at heart.’”  
“Oh, my god, tear this dude apart,” Hercules commented.  
Alexandra had half a mind to.  
Seabury went on, “Chaos and bloodshed are not a solution. Don’t let them led you astray.”  
Burr had come back to the table and was standing beside Alexandra, and he noticed the intense and decisive expression on her face. She was going to get herself in trouble.  
“‘This Congress does not speak for me’!”  
“Let him be,” Burr said, putting a hand on Alexandra’s shoulder as she was trying to stand up. She shrugged his hand off and stood up straighter.  
“They’re playing a dangerous game! I pray the King shows you his mercy,” Seabury said as Alexandra joined him on the table, “for shame!”  
Seabury repeated his free thoughts while Alexandra voiced her own over him.  
“He’d have you all unravel at the sound of screams, but the revolution is coming. The have-nots are gonna win this! It’s hard to listen to you with a straight face. Chaos and bloodshed already haunt us, honestly, you shouldn’t even talk! And what about Boston? Look at the cost and all that we’ve lost and here you talk about Congress!”  
She let him finish, then went on to say, “Mr. Seabury, with all due respect which, by your loyalty to a corrupt king, isn’t that much respect, I’d advise you to step off this table with me and never let such trash as that slip out of your mouth again! At least not in public! For shame!”  
Hercules and Lafayette helped her down from the table.  
“I must say, that was great,” Hercules said.  
“You are the kind of woman our country needs,” Lafayette said.  
“You sure about that?’ Burr asked, stepping in. “Alexandra, what were you thinking?”  
“I was thinking that you should stop interfering and discouraging what I’m trying to do here,” Alexandra glared at him.  
Burr, exasperated, left the pub.  
“I thought that was amazing, Alexandra,” John said. “Lafayette is right. We do need someone like you.”  
Alexandra smiled. She’d been accepted by three men as someone who could change their country. And, hey, John Laurens wasn’t so bad-looking. 

Some time later, the message from the King had just been delivered, and Alexandra and her three men were leaving the pub, Alexandra fuming.  
“We’ll be back, huh? Not if I have anything to say about it!” she growled. “And you can bet I do!”  
“How are you going to fight in a war?” Lafayette asked.  
“Who said I had to spill blood to have an influence in this revolution, Lafayette? The pure sound of my voice is like a gunshot to my enemies, or so I’ve heard.”  
“Hopefully none of us catch those bullets,” John said.


	2. A Winter's Ball and The Aftermath of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was so passionate about the revolution and he always feared deep down inside that someone would hurt her for it. That someone could take the Mother of the Revolution away from her child and away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of surprise turns in this chapter, I'm not sure you're ready. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I'm such Hamiltrash.

Soon, the Winter Ball was hosted by Philip Schuyler, the wealthiest man in Manhattan. His sons, Angelo, Elijah, and Petey were looking for a woman to love, even for just one night. That’s when Alexandra Hamilton entered the scene, with John Laurens, Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan by her side.  
Angelo was the first to notice her. Throughout his life, he’d seen a lot of girls, many of whom his father had tried to set him up with. None had impacted him like this on first sight. She had eyes like a hawk that seemed to decipher everybody around her. He could already tell there was so much more to her than anything any other girl that night had to offer. Except, he could tell, she didn’t come from money. Mulligan must have tailored her dress, and while it flattered her, it didn’t look expensive at all, and the duty of the firstborn to an aristocratic family was to marry wealthy and keep wealth in the family.  
“Angelo,” Elijah whispered to his brother in awe, “do you see that woman over there? Who is she? You must introduce me.”  
“Must I?” Angelo asked under his breath. “Well, yes, alright,” he said to his brother. “Let’s go.”  
Angelo led Elijah over to this woman.  
Elijah looked at the men, who stood protectively around her like three big brothers.  
“Hi,” Angelo said to Alexandra, “I’m Angelo Schuyler, and this is my brother, Elijah. He’d love to dance with you if that’s alright.”  
“Of course,” Alexandra smiled.  
Angelo and John both watched in internal agony as Alexandra danced with Elijah, Alexandra giggling like a young girl. 

Aaron Burr was also watching. Just watching. He’d been thinking for a while and found himself somewhat attracted to who was General Washington’s right-hand woman and whom everybody now called “The Mother of the Revolution”. It was quite a nickname when hardly any progress had been made, but Burr found even himself intrigued by Alexandra’s words. She was, indeed, extremely intelligent, and while her opinionated and superior personality annoyed the hell out of him, there was a part of him that couldn’t help but want her.

Alexandra was done dancing and went to find her boys, but they were all dancing with someone. She sat down at a table and scanned the room, noticing two things. One, Elijah had gone off somewhere and two, Aaron Burr was approaching her table. ‘  
“Aaron Burr, sir,” she addressed him wryly.  
“Miss Hamilton, may I have a dance with you?” he asked, expecting a blatant “NO”.  
“Sure, why not?” she asked, taking the hand he offered to her.  
He led her out onto the floor and they started to dance. She noticed that he was good at this.  
“It’s been a while, Burr,” she said.  
“Has it? I didn’t notice,” he responded.  
“I’m sorry Washington dumped you for me,” she said.  
“Is that an apology or are you just rubbing it in my face?”  
“No, Burr, I’m genuinely sorry. But your place is better on the battlefield, yeah? My place, if I have one is, I assume, far away from the chaos and bloodshed. I’m more of a secretary of sorts. I don’t even see a soldier when I’m working.” (A/N: Yes, I know that Alexander Hamilton was made Washington’s aide-de-camp, but that would imply that she would actually be out on the battlefield, and as a woman, she couldn’t do that.)  
“Then I suppose I forgive you,” Burr chuckled.  
“Burr, was that a laugh?”  
“No, you must be hallucinating.”  
“Anyways, after you left, Washington asked me why no one could get me on their staff. Honestly, I didn’t know anyone wanted me on their staff. The boys must have taken care of all that for me,” Alexandra said.  
“You know, Alexandra, you still talk too much,” Burr said. “What would shut you up?”  
Alexandra scoffed indignantly. “I will never shut up, you should know this by n--”  
Burr, who was never one to act on impulse, found himself kissing Alexandra before he could stop himself.  
When he realized what he was doing, he pulled away. He quickly turned away and disappeared into who-knew-where. Alexandra was speechless for possibly the first time since she’d arrived in New York. 

From where he was dancing with someone he didn’t even know, John had seen the kiss and was shocked and filled with jealousy. He managed to keep that inside, though, and keep on dancing with the woman he was dancing with.  
Elijah was nowhere to be found, but Angelo had seen the kiss and wondered what was really going on with Alexandra Hamilton and Aaron Burr. He’d heard that Burr despised the Mother of the Revolution, disparaging her good name any chance he could get. She had become like a daughter to General Washington, forming a bond with him that Burr never could. He was jealous and everyone had thought he hated her, up until now, when Alexandra was still standing in the same place, stunned.  
Alexandra had heard that Burr hated her, also, and just thought nothing of it because a lot of people did. She was a woman who would not shut up and would not back down. People hated that.  
Lafayette was done with his dance and made his way over to his “little sister”. “Mademoiselle, are you alright?”  
Alexandra blinked and shook her head to get herself back together. “Yes, Lafayette.”  
“You seem a little, how you say, ‘flustered’?”  
“Don’t bother me, Lafayette,” Alexandra chuckled.  
Lafayette laughed.  
“I think we need to leave,” Hercules said, seeming to appear out of nowhere.  
“Why is that?” Alexandra asked.  
“Because Laurens might find and murder Burr,” Hercules said before he could think twice.  
Alexandra looked confused for a moment, but then it clicked. “Oh,” she said in realization. “Perhaps I should stay out of his way? I’ll see you two later,” she ran out of the Schuyler residence, found an alley somewhere, and sat down in it.  
Yes, in her dress and hair done-up by Lafayette. He was a strange creature, that one.  
“Alexandra?”  
“Elijah?”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Elijah! There you are,” Angelo said, running into the alley that it was now known that both Alexandra and Elijah were in. “Should I leave you two alone?” Angelo didn’t want to leave Alexandra to Elijah, especially knowing that she’d just kissed another man, but he had no choice. “Nevermind, don’t answer that.”  
Angelo left, and Elijah came closer to Alexandra. “I’m sorry I disappeared so quickly. I just had to think about some things...one of them regarding you.”  
“Is that so?” Alexandra asked, standing up and taking a step closer to Elijah.  
“Alexandra, I know it sounds crazy, but the moment you walked into the room, I lost all sense. And I danced with you, and it was the greatest experience of my life. I want to be able to dance with you for the rest of my life. Again, I know it sounds crazy, but will you marry me?”  
Alexandra exhaled. “Elijah, I’d love to give you a straight answer, but I have duties to fulfill and millions of thoughts coursing through my head as we speak. Listen, I will think about it. Just...give me time.”  
“Okay, if that’s what you think you need,” Elijah said, and then she was alone in the alley. 

She sat there, and after a while, a familiar figure passed by.  
“Burr!” she called.  
“Alexandra? What are you doing in an alley?”  
“Perhaps I feel comfortable here.”  
“If you say so.”  
“Why…?” There was no need to complete the question verbally because Burr knew exactly what she was asking.  
“I don’t know, Alexandra. I don’t think even the brightest mind in the world could discern the meaning of what I did.”  
“So you’re saying you just did it for no reason?” Alexandra’s tone was skeptical, but there wasn’t a trace of her normal wryness in her voice.  
“No, there’s a reason. I just don’t know exactly how to explain it,” Burr struggled.  
“Try me. I can understand a lot of things pretty easily, no matter how complicated,” Alexandra said.  
“I kissed you because I like you, Alexandra, but I hate you, as well,” Burr said.  
“Hate me for my bond with Washington? Hate me for voicing my beliefs?” Alexandra asked, her voice raising.  
“I’m jealous of your success, I’ll admit it, but you leave me in awe just about every time you speak. And when I first met you, I knew there was something about you that was different. And, damn it, Alexandra, you’re beautiful. But I hate you because you make me want to throw every ounce of caution that I have away. I don’t like that. I hate you because I never wanted to want to commit to anything,” Burr said plainly.  
Alexandra paused for a moment to process everything Burr was saying. “You hate me because I make you feel a certain way?”  
“Yes,” Burr said.  
There was silence for a moment.  
“It won’t happen again?” Alexandra asked. It was too dark to see the expression on her face.  
“No,” he said, “it won’t. Especially now that you’ve been proposed to.”  
“How did you know that?”  
“I overheard Elijah Schuyler discussing it with his brother, Angelo. He said something about your duties and you being confused.”  
“I am not confused.”  
“I don’t believe that’s true.”  
“Aaron!”  
“What? Let me ask you something. Out of all the men that attended this ball, who would you want to marry? Would it be Elijah Schuyler? Angelo? Petey? Perhaps Johns Laurens? Hercules Mulligan? Lafayette?” Burr paused and chuckled. “Me?”  
“I don’t want to marry anybody. That would only take me away from the revolution. It’s the revolution that matters now, love can wait until we’re free.”  
Her dedication to the cause was overwhelming, but it intrigued Burr in a weird sort of way. She was so passionate about the revolution and he always feared deep down inside that someone would hurt her for it. That someone could take the Mother of the Revolution away from her child and away from him.  
“Good night, Alexandra. Try not to give a speech to your cat, okay?”  
“Shut up, Aaron, and go home.” 

Burr walked away, and it wasn’t but a mile down the road that he encountered one John Laurens.  
“What the hell did you think you were doing, Burr?” he asked.  
“Calm down, Laurens, it was nothing. What, are you in love with Alexandra?”  
“That is none of your business, Burr,” John said coldly.  
“Alexandra wouldn’t like this side of you,” Burr said. “She thinks you’re a nice man.”  
“I am, to many people, a nice man. But I cannot be a nice man to someone who is as much of a danger to Alexandra as you.”  
“Like either of us even has a chance, Laurens!”  
“What do you mean?”  
“She was proposed to by Elijah Schuyler just tonight and she told me that she doesn’t want to marry anybody because it would take her away from the cause.”  
John looked at Burr and nodded. “She really loves that cause. So do I. And you discourage it. Stay away from Alexandra, Burr.”  
Burr knew he couldn’t. Something about Alexandra was binding and irresistible. He nodded anyways and kept walking. Laurens didn’t follow.


	3. I Can Hear The Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A man who is going to war 
> 
> Or a man that sleeps with married man's wives
> 
> Or a man that is wealthy and has nothing better to do?
> 
>  
> 
> Decisions, decisions.

“I told him that promoting Charles Lee was an awful idea! Now he’s made a mess at Monmouth!” Alexandra was ranting to her three male comrades. “Now he’s got to find someone to replace Lee, and it obviously can’t be me, because I’m a girl, who has studied everything about war, by the way, and it can’t be Aa- it can’t be Burr, because who knows whether or not he’ll flake out?” Alexandra looked at each of the three men listening intently to her, and her eyes settled on Lafayette. “It should be you.” 

“ _ Moi _ ? Alexandra-” 

“No, Lafayette. This is what you’ve wanted for this entire revolution. Don’t back out now. I’ll put in a word for you with Washington. I’m sure he’ll agree with me. Your reputation precedes you, Gilbert.” 

Lafayette grinned. “You’re too kind,  _ mademoiselle _ .” 

Alexandra smiled, her smile falling when she saw the bitter look on John’s face. “John, are you alright?” 

“Alexandra, can we talk alone?” he asked. Lafayette and Hercules looked at each other, shrugged, and left. 

“About what, John?”

“I saw you kiss Aaron Burr at that ball,” he said. 

“I didn’t kiss Burr, he kissed me. And why do you care?” Even though she knew full well why, she needed to hear it from him.

John looked down at the table he was sitting at.. 

“I care because...I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.”

Why did that seem to be a pattern? Alexandra sat, looking at John, who was still looking at the table. 

Did Alexandra feel anything but friendship for John? Yes. She really did feel romantic feelings for him, but it was honestly a tie between him and Aaron Burr. And she couldn’t let him know that. 

There was only one thing to do, and that was kiss him. That was the only way she’d know how she really felt about John. 

She kissed him, and he was tense at first, taken by surprise at the sudden kiss, but then he relaxed and there was passion on his side. This passion lit a flame inside Alexandra, one that could only previously be ignited by her love of her work. No, it was more than that flame.

She pulled away way too quickly for John’s taste and said, “It’s late. I’ve got to go to sleep.” 

“Alexandra, you just kissed me and now you’re going to bed? Besides, it’s not even that late. And you hardly ever sleep.” Damn it, he’d cornered her. 

“Fine. I’ll stay up.” Honestly, she wasn’t even tired in the slightest. 

“Do you love me, Alexandra?” he asked. 

Alexandra was hesitant, but then she saw Lafayette and Hercules peeking around the corner, eavesdropping. 

“I see you there!” She said, grateful for the distraction. Lafayette and Hercules sheepishly came out into the light of the dining room. “What do you think you’re doing invading my privacy?” 

“We’re sorry, Alexandra, we were deeply curious about how this would play out,” Lafayette said sheepishly. 

“I ought to slap you both silly,” she stood, as did John, who hadn’t said anything since he asked her that question. 

“Should we leave?” Hercules asked. 

“Yes,” Alexandra said, waving them off.

John was looking at her, still awaiting her response. 

“John,” she said measuredly, something she didn’t do often, “I do love you, but I also love someone else at the same time.”

John nodded in realization and let out a tense “...Burr.” 

Alexandra bit her lower lip and nodded.

“I don’t get it, Alexandra, he treats you like a child and talks badly about you to people of influence.”   
“Well, a man’s got to keep up his appearance, and he talks badly about me because he’s jealous that Washington picked me.”

“Can you pick  _ me _ ?” 

“John, I can’t pick anybody right now. Who knows when either you or Aaron is going to go out into battle and die? I can’t commit myself and I can’t entertain any of these thoughts,” Alexandra said, blinking back tears.  

“I understand.”

“You do?” 

“I don’t want to, but yes, I do.” 

  
  


“That Lee has resorted to talking about you, sir,” Alexandra informed George Washington a few weeks later. “He’s said that you’re indecisive from crisis to crisis and that you’d do better to go back to Mount Vernon than stay fighting in the revolution where he believes you’re useless. Something ought to be done about that, sir.” 

“Miss Hamilton, I am well aware of Lee’s opinion of me. I don’t even care half as much as you do. Everybody knows what really happened at Monmouth, and that will brand Lee a liar without anyone having to do anything about it. Now, it’s getting late. I’d like you to return to your home, and, for God’s sake, get some rest. You look like you haven’t slept in years.” 

“God be with you, sir.”

When she got home, John, Hercules, Lafayette, and...Burr? These four men were standing in the lobby. 

“Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her?” John was asking Burr very angrily when she entered. Only Lafayette and Hercules seemed to notice her entrance. John and Burr were too focused on their anger with each other. 

“Sorry I didn’t take your order. I care about Alexandra, and I wanted to see if she was alright because I know that Lee’s words angered her.”

“I’m fine, Aaron,” Alexandra finally said. 

“Alexandra!” John said, seeming to finally center himself and back down from the fight that was sure to ensue and probably turn into a duel. 

“Alexandra,” Aaron turned to the woman that was glaring at him from beside Lafayette. 

“What are you really here for, Burr?” 

“Could we step outside?” 

“Sure,” Alexandra said, exiting out the door she’d just entered, followed by Burr. 

“I came to bring this to Laurens,” he said, handing her a letter. 

She read it. “They’re asking him to serve.” 

“Yes. Washington requested that I bring this to him,” Burr said, seeming to search Alexandra’s expression for something. 

“Well,” Alexandra swallowed. “I’ll get it right to him, then.” 

“And, Alexandra?” He asked as she started towards the door. 

“Aaron?” she turned back

“Have you decided whether or not you’re going to marry Elijah Schuyler?” he asked. 

“I’ve already told you, Burr, that I am not committing to anyone until after the Revolution.”

“Okay, but who do you see yourself with after the revolution?” Burr asked. 

“Whoever’s left, I guess,” she glanced at the letter in her hand. “I’d better deliver this to John.”

“Good night, Alexandra.” 

“Wait, Aaron?”

“Yes?”

“There’s been talk that you’re having an affair with a British officer’s wife. Her name’s Theodosia?”

Burr nodded, looking somewhat ashamed.

“Astonishing how you admit your feelings for me and then run off and wind up in a married woman’s bed. If you wanted to make my opinion of you any better, let me be the first to say you’ve failed miserably,” Alexandra said. 

“Alexandra--”

“No, Aaron. You don’t need to say anything else. I think you’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel now. Goodnight.” 

Alexandra tried to keep from slamming the door as she re-entered the home she shared with the three men who were now looking at her with expressions of concern. 

“John,” she said, handing the letter to him, “this is for you.” 

John read the letter, a look of melancholic realization appearing on his face as he read. “They’re asking me to fight.”

“You’ve got to do it,” Lafayette said.

“Yes, I do,” John said. 

Alexandra faked a yawn. “I’m tired,” she said.

Hercules saw right through her act. “No, you’re not,” he said. 

“Yes, I am, Hercules,” Alexandra said irritatedly. Hercules always tried to get her to talk about her feelings and that is something she really hated doing even though she seemed to do it a lot more lately. 

“Let her go to bed, Hercules,” Lafayette said, knowing what both Hercules and Alexandra were trying to do. 

She got to her bedroom and closed the heavy door, falling face first onto the bed. She screamed into her pillow, the sound muffled by it. Why was she screaming into her pillow? Oh, no reason except for the fact that Aaron Burr was a manwhore and that John Laurens was going off to war and could possibly die and Alexandra would never see him again. 

In her desperation fueled by these things, she abandoned her usually rigid plan of just focusing on the revolution completely (since it obviously wasn’t working) and made the decision to take what was left in this situation: Elijah Schuyler. 

It couldn’t be Aaron because it was already proven that he wasn’t trustworthy if he was running around sleeping with another man’s wife, and it couldn’t be John because who knew if he was going to come back from the War? Elijah Schuyler, the soft man whom she was certain wasn’t going anywhere, was the best choice. 

The only man she didn’t want was the one she was going to have. Was this some kind of cruel joke played on her by a higher power? She didn’t find it funny. 

 

\---Some passage of time---

 

Alexandra Hamilton was now getting ready for her wedding to Elijah, some girls from his side of the family that she hardly knew helping her. She had invited her three roommates to this wedding, and John, after she explained her decision to him, had agreed to come. For some reason, Elijah had invited Burr to the wedding and Alexandra knew that he couldn’t possibly have the nerve to come if he didn’t want to get chewed out by the bride. Obviously, though, he didn’t mind getting chewed out by the bride. 

This wedding also reminded Alexandra that she had no father to give her away. She pushed the thought out of her mind. John, Lafayette, and Hercules had all agreed to give her away together, which she found both funny and sweet at the same time. 

 

When she reached the altar, she saw the very man she didn’t think she’d see here. Aaron Burr, right in the back row, looking straight at her. 

  
_ Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good ol' Burr, always popping up in places he shouldn't, dammit, but you gotta love you some Burr. I know I do. 
> 
> A Kudo a day keeps my sadness away. 
> 
> Also, maybe subscribe to this story or I will never hear the bells. 
> 
> A bookmark a day keeps my lame notes away (hey that's probably not true but give it a shot, huh?) 
> 
> A comment a day gives me something to read
> 
> Okay. I'll leave now.


	4. Satisfied/Wait For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why the hell was Aaron Burr at the wedding?
> 
> What will Angelo Schuyler, the best man, say?
> 
> How will John, Hercules, and Lafayette cope with being one man (or woman) short?
> 
> She is now Alexandra Hamilton Schuyler.
> 
> She writes a letter. 
> 
> What will the response be?

 

John Laurens had taken it upon himself to take Aaron Burr aside (he thought about taking him  _ outside  _ and shooting him but he didn’t think Alexandra would approve of such behavior, even though she was undoubtedly pissed at Burr, as well) and give him a piece of his mind. 

“Burr, showing up to her wedding after all you’ve done? Are you serious? You must have some kind of addiction to married women.” 

“I fancied her  _ before  _ she was married, Laurens. And yes, I received the invitation so I figured I might as well be a good sport and come. I don’t suppose you would know anything about being a good sport, since you challenged Charles Lee to a duel.” 

“You’re lucky I don’t challenge you to a duel. You know it’s perfectly fine to decline an invitation or, if it’s more your taste, to just not show up. There would have been nothing lost if you hadn’t come.” 

“Are you saying there was anything lost because I came? Laurens, don’t be stupid. You and I both know that there was nothing to lose in the first place in regards to this wedding. Alexandra doesn’t even love Elijah, and we both know that, too.”

John sighed. “Regardless of the fact that she doesn’t love him---how incredibly classy of you to point that out during the reception---she still agreed to marry him and went through with that. You knew how she felt about you being around and you should have respected that. Now, I’m sure she won’t make a scene at her own wedding about you being here, but you can rest assured that you’ll have quite a letter sent to you, knowing her.”

“Whatever, Laurens. Give me a break.” 

John scoffed, figuring he’d won this round and went off to talk to Hercules and Lafayette. 

 

Angelo Schuyler was the best man at this wedding and was preparing to give the best man’s speech. 

“A toast to the bride! I remember the night Elijah met Alexandra. It was the Winter’s ball. I remember that night very well. Alexandra made quite an entrance, didn’t she? Her and her ‘three big brothers’, as we call them. If we’re being honest, though, I think  _ she  _ carries  _ them _ .”

He paused as a chorus of chuckles, even from John, Hercules, Lafayette, and Alexandra themselves, filled the room for about two seconds. “There were well-to-do girls tripping over the skirts of their ballgowns to try and impress us,” he continued, “but all Elijah saw that night was Alexandra. Ever since then, she has filled his world with laughter, enlightenment, and happiness. I couldn’t be happier for him. Thank you, Alexandra, for making my brother so helplessly happy.” 

 

Alexandra faked a smile for everyone clapping and tried not to tense as Elijah pulled her closer. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Elijah, it was that she didn’t love him. It didn’t help that there were two men there at that time that she loved, but she knew why she’d chosen this one. He wasn’t going to war and he wasn’t a manwhore. He was a safe bet, and she didn’t really need love anyways if she was going to have a career. She just hoped that Elijah wouldn’t try to discourage her. 

 

When the reception was over, John, Hercules, and Lafayette went home. 

“It’s going to be odd without her here. Why’d you let her get married, John?” 

“I don’t know, why’d you let her move in?” 

“Nice comeback, John,” Hercules scoffed. “You know I let her move in because I wasn’t going to allow her to live in a study.” 

“She might have preferred it that way,” Lafayette joked, referring to Alexandra’s obsession with reading and writing. 

“I asked you why you let her move in because now that you let her move in, we miss her because she’s moved out,” John said. 

“So much is changing,” Hercules said as they all came to a stop in front of the door of the now-empty bedroom.

“Hopefully more for the better than for the worse,” Lafayette said. “What do you all say we all go get drinks and celebrate this marvelous accusation?”

“Sir, I think you mean occasion,” John chuckled, “and that sounds like a plan.” 

  
  
  
  


Burr received the letter that John was referring to a few weeks after the wedding. 

 

“   _ Aaron,  _

 

_ I imagine it, by a small chance, have been all in good taste, but how dare you attend my wedding? Like I said, you made it perfectly clear how you felt, and you didn’t need to come to my wedding just to shove your mistake in my face. Wait, no, mistakes mean you learn something from them. I can’t imagine you learned anything at all, being the type of man that you are: the kind that supposedly won’t take a risk, yet you take the risk of being shot in the face by a British soldier should he come home and see you and Mrs. Prevost (tell her I said hi) sinning in his very bed. How graceful of you. Throw my name in the dirt, confess some supposed feelings for me,  sleep with a married woman,  confess that to me, I make it clear you are no longer welcome in my life, and then you attend my wedding. Wouldn’t want anyone to think something was wrong, would you? Let me make this explicitly clear, Aaron: Do not let me catch you within sight of me again. I know some gun-wielding men that would be very happy to use their arms against you. _

 

_ Best regards, _

_ Alexandra Hamilton Schuyler _ ”

Aaron read the letter twice to make sure he’d read all that correctly. 

He had sensed the sarcasm and bitterness from the very start of the letter, but he’d had no idea how harsh she would be. She had kicked him while he was down. 

He wrote a response back, not caring if Alexandra’s poor husband got to it first.

 

“ _ Alexandra,  _

 

_ Congratulations. I hope you and Elijah make each other very happy.  _

_ I do have to address some things, though. For starters, it was not my intention to shove my mistake in your face. I was only accepting the invitation that Mr. Schuyler had so kindly extended out to me. And, Alexandra, I did learn from my mistake. I stopped my affair with Theodosia, and now I have to watch a married woman that I love be married and I can’t do anything about it. If there comes a time that I do have a chance with you, then I’m willing to wait for it. You say I won’t take a risk? Why take as many risks as you and your three companions take when all it seems to do is get you into trouble? Who, if they can control their impulse, can stand to live that kind of live. I never acted on impulse in regards to Theodosia. I knew exactly what I was doing and the only risk I was taking was, as I mentioned, being caught, but you never asked if I cared if I was caught. I didn’t care. None of it really mattered to me. It sounds awful, but it’s the truth. Theodosia was simply a distraction. Furthermore, I only ‘threw dirt on [your] name’ because I was jealous of your quick rise in the food chain, and what made it worse is that you are a woman. I no longer care about your gender, because, elaborating on Angelo Schuyler’s remarks at your wedding, you carry all of us men. You’re the Mother of the Revolution. You’re a powerful woman; I’d be a damned fool not to know that, which is why I don’t doubt that you would hire a hitman of sorts on me...except for the fact that you know better. Like I do, you know what’s good for your image.  _

_ Those feelings that I confessed for you are not supposed, they are real, Alexandra. They’re even more real than I wanted them to be, and now I can do nothing but wait for the odds to turn in my favor. I confessed to you that I slept with a married woman because I can’t lie to you. You see right through me, and it would weigh heavily on my conscience if I lied to you. If I’m not so welcome in your life, why did you write me a letter? If I weren’t welcome even in the slightest, you wouldn’t waste your ink. Finally: New York City’s a smaller world than you think. We’ll be seeing each other again pretty soon. I apologize in advance. _

 

_ Best regards, _

 

_ Aaron Burr” _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Kudo a day makes my enemies hate me more which fuels my motivation
> 
> A comment a day still gives me something to read
> 
> A bookmark a day keeps the monsters out from under your bed (and trust me, they're there)
> 
> A subscription a day...idk helps you keep track of my story, I've run out of wittiness
> 
> I know this chapter is unjustifiably short for a 3-day delay, but my cat had kittens and I'm busy loving cats, okay?   
> Also, I have a life.  
> Kind of.   
> not really.


	5. Non-Stop!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A literal adaptation of the Act I closing number "Non-Stop" with some "Tomorrow There'll Be More of Us".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The repeated phrases in italics either do one of two things or both: 
> 
> a) highlight/emphasize important phrases and show how important that phrase is to the corresponding character  
> b) show the passage of time

Alexandra decided not to respond to Burr’s letter, and instead threw it into the fire in the fireplace of her home. 

“What was that?” Elijah asked. 

“Junk mail,” Alexandra sighed and went into her study, attempting to avoid any further conversation. 

“That junk mail sure seems to have you upset,” Elijah said, following his wife. “But you forgot another letter.” 

“From John?” Alexandra asked. She hadn’t heard from him in a while, and he had promised he would write.

“No, actually,” Elijah paused. “Would you like me to read it to you?”

“Go ahead,” Alexandra shrugged. 

" _ On Tuesday, the twenty-seventh, Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens was killed in a gunfight against British troops in South Carolina. These troops had not yet received word from Yorktown that the war was over. He's buried here until his family can send for his remains. As you may know, Lieutenant Colonel Laurens was engaged in recruiting three thousand men for the first all-black military regiment. The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters. _ "

Alexandra felt as if an echo of the words “ _ John Laurens was killed _ ” replayed in her mind like a broken record.

 

“ _ John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens-- _ ”

 

Alexandra began to think of the revolution and how John couldn’t wait to change everything and bring in the innovative all-black regiment. 

 

“ _ Returned to their masters...returned to their masters...returned to their masters...returned to their--”  _

 

All those men that had high hopes were now back to a hopeless square one, and Alexandra couldn’t help but think she’d played a part in her friend’s death. She had been the one to hand him that letter. She had to make it right by leading the next part of the revolution. The war may have been over, but the revolution was not. 

She had to make John Laurens proud. She had to ensure that he didn’t die in vain. 

 

“ _ John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed… _ ” 

 

“Alexandra, are you alright?” 

 

“I have so much work to do,” Alexandra said. 

 

\-----

 

After the war, Burr came back to New York. Alexandra had already finished up her studies and, by influence of Washington, got the go-ahead to be a lawyer. After all, they thought, if she was a train-wreck in court, that was enough evidence to support the claim that women shouldn’t be in the law/political sphere. Burr was lucky enough to work with her, but neither of them thought it was luck. Alexandra had so much to say, and they had just run the Levi Weeks trial a little too long just because Alexandra  _ loved  _ to talk. 

“Alexandra,” Aaron said as they exited the courthouse. 

“Burr, I know we work together, and you’re sort of forced to talk to me, but right now, you’ve no reason to talk to me. It’s outside of working hours.” 

Burr scoffed. “Yes, official working hours, but you’ll probably go home and write like you always do.” 

“How do you know that?”

“Men at bars talk,” Burr said, “and I’ve talked to your husband.” 

“Must have been fun for you,” Alexandra said, beginning to walk again. 

“Alexandra, wait,” he said. “I’m sorry about Laurens--I mean, I’m sorry about John.” 

 

“ _ John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens--- _ ” 

 

“ _ I have so much work to do,...so much work to do...so much work to do...work to do...work-- _ ” 

 

Alexandra nodded and, without saying a word, got up into the carriage that was waiting for her.

 

Burr watched her ride away in the carriage. 

  
  
  
  
  


A couple months later, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing as a couple of gentlemen were discussing the Convention over some drinks at the very bar where he had met Alexandra Hamilton. 

 

“Hamilton at the Constitutional Convention! A woman! Can you believe that? At the constitution?”

“Ah, yes, I heard. There as a New York junior delegate.” 

( **A/N:** Here we see another way Alexander and Alexandra are different…)

“She gave them a brief speech, proposing a new form of government. She said that a president should serve indefinitely, which is way too close to monarchy, and we all know what came of that.” 

( **A/N:** Let me make it clear that, unlike the real Alexander, Alexandra never stated that she thought the British government was the best in the world, in fact…)

“I don’t think she knows what she’s doing. After all, she has so clearly stated that she hates the British. She  _ hates them _ . They killed her friend.” 

Burr looked down into his drink. He understood the grief, but he wished that he didn’t see traces of John Laurens everywhere. That only reminded him of the better man that John was, and how he could never reach the level of honor and glory that he had, or that he would never have the friendship/relationship with Alexandra that he had. That last part was probably the hardest to cope with for Aaron Burr. He was still waiting...he didn’t have the closure with Alexandra that he felt John had. She kept him and everyone else on the edge of their seats. 

 

“ _ John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens---John---John Laurens… _ ”

 

There Alexandra Hamilton was, at his doorstep, looking cautious and like she expected him to blow up at her on sight. 

 

“Alexandra?”

 

“Aaron Burr, sir.” 

 

“As much as I enjoy your company, it’s the middle of the night,” Aaron said. In fact, he thought, someone might see her and that could end badly for everyone involved. “Is it important?” 

 

“Yes...not life or death, but it’s certainly so important that I couldn’t sleep.” 

 

“Come inside,” he said without asking further questions. The more time he got to spend with her in civility, the better. “What do you need?” he asked after she entered the house and he shut the door. 

 

“So, I’ve got a client. This client is, I hate to say it, almost a hopeless cause without a strong defense. That’s where you come in,” Alexandra said, looking at Aaron. 

“Me? What part would I have in this? Who’s your client?”

“The new U.S. Constitution!” 

“No--”

“Don’t be so quick to reject this, Aaron,” Alexandra said. “We would defend it in the form of a series of anonymously published essays.” 

“Alexandra, no one would read that---”

“---I disagree---”

“And if it fails?”

“That’s why we need it!”

“The Constitution’s a mess!” 

“So it needs amendments…”

“It’s full of contradictions!”

“So is independence...we have to start somewhere, Burr!”

“No.”

“You’re making a mistake,” Alexandra said as she started towards the door, but then she turned back around to face him. “What are you waiting for, Burr?” 

“Alexandra…”

“What do you stall for? We won the war, what was it all for? Do you support this constitution?” 

“Of course.”

“Then defend it.”

“What if you’re backing the wrong horse?” 

“We studied, and you men fought and you killed, and in John’s case, were killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build. For once in your life, Aaron, take a stand with pride. I don’t understand why you stand to the side,” Alexandra said, opening the door. “But good luck on the outside looking in, Aaron Burr. Good luck  _ waiting _ .”

 

“ _ Good luck on the outside looking in...luck on the outside...on the outside looking in...on the outside _ ” echoed in Burr’s head.

 

\-----

 

God, how Angelo Schuyler wished he had never given Alexandra Hamilton up to his brother. Now he had met a girl and was going to go off to London far, far away from the Revolution and from his Alexandra. 

 

On the other hand, Elijah Schuyler was getting increasingly irritated with the fact that Alexandra had thrown herself into her work and didn’t have time for him and didn’t perform any wifely duties. She didn’t want children. She didn’t seem to want anything that a loving wife would want from her husband. She hadn’t been the same since John Laurens was killed. 

 

“ _ John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens was killed...John Laurens--”  _

 

“You seriously wrote 51 essays?” Lafayette asked Alexandra. He had persuaded her to take a break to get a drink. 

“You act as if this is a surprise,” Alexandra chuckled. “But yes, 51. I’ve heard no one will read them.”

“John would be proud,” Hercules said, laying a hand on Alexandra’s shoulder. 

Alexandra recognized a certain table. “Do you two remember when I climbed up on that table to give that Loyalist a piece of my mind?”

“Yes, very vividly. That was the start of everything.” 

“It was something special,” Hercules said. 

“If only John could see what it’s come down to,” Alexandra said. “We’re almost there. I can feel it.”

“I hope you’re right,” Hercules said. 

“Oh, I know I’m right,” Alexandra said. “Just you wait.”

 

“ _ Just you wait...just you wait...just you wait...just you wait…” _

 

\----

 

Had George Washington seriously just asked her to be Treasury Secretary? And had she seriously just accepted that offer? 

 

And was Elijah seriously discouraging her?

 

:”Look around! You’ve got everything, sweetheart. Isn’t all of this enough?”

“I have to do it, Elijah. Washington needs me,” Alexandra said. 

 

He would never be more important than her work, would he?

 

“ _ Just you wait...just you wait...just you wait...just you wait… _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A JFKASJFKLSDAJFL A DAY DOES KSHFKASHFJKSHDFJKASDH
> 
> It's 1 AM. 
> 
> Enjoy.


	6. Cabinet Battle #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we begin Act II!
> 
> Thomas Jefferson is back from France. 
> 
> What will happen at the first Cabinet Meeting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a literal adaptation of Cabinet Battle #1, with some extra stuffs.

Thomas Jefferson was back from France.

 

Alexandra had heard about him. He was an ambassador to the French, and she had to admit he was pretty damn good at it. She could see why Washington had chosen him as Secretary of State. The only problem she had with him so far, though, listening to him speak, is that he had an air of arrogance and a hint of a superiority complex. Now that she thought about it, it was also because Alexandra and Washington were Federalists and Thomas Jefferson was a staunch Democratic-Republican. When Alexandra asked him why he didn’t appoint another Federalist for Secretary of State, he replied:

 

“Alexandra, if I were to appoint everyone that had the same views, the anti-federalists would think that it was us against them, and they would be even more afraid that we would give all the power to ourselves.” 

Alexandra nodded. She couldn’t argue with that.

 

It was time for the first cabinet meeting. People had gathered to watch this debate. They thought that it was time for Alexandra Hamilton to prove herself further against a man. Alexandra rolled her eyes out of everyone’s sight. When was her gender going to stop being ammunition for the naysayers? How about her views? Her personality? Something that actually mattered?

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us here in New York City. The issue here tonight is whether or not Secretary Hamilton-Schuyler’’s audacious plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank is a plausible plan. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir,” Washington said. 

 

“ _ Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness _ . I wrote those words, and important men quote them. Can’t you see how Secretary Hamilton-Schuyler’s plan would conflict with those ideals? The ideals that we fought for? Mrs. Hamilton-Schuyler forgets the citizens in her plan. If we were to assume state debts and give the federal government a national bank, then that would deprive the common man of a voice in legislation. Of course, Secretary Hamilton-Schuyler wouldn’t know much about the common man---she’s married to a very wealthy man. And since her career and life is focused on money, she will find any way she can to benefit the Treasury solely.”

 

_ How dare he bring personal things into this _ ? Alexandra thought angrily. Beside her, one of the other Cabinet members, Secretary of War Henry Knox whispered, “It’s alright. Jefferson’s simply trying to hit a nerve by bringing your money and career into this. Don’t let him.” 

Alexandra nodded and listened as Jefferson continued.

 

“In my opinion, if a state is in debt, it is that state’s responsibility to pay it, not the federal government’s! For example, Maryland, Georgia, and Virginia have already paid off their war debts. Sure, South Carolina is still knee-deep in debt, but  _ they _ should worry about that, not the rest of us. In Virginia, we farm. Why? Because agriculture is the source of wealth. Banking establishments are dangerous, which is something Hamilton-Schuyler doesn’t seem to care about. She’s not much for looking at the consequences.” 

 

Alexandra sighed and exchanged looks with Knox. Another personal attack. Alexandra thought this attack was as weak as the rest of Thomas’ argument. 

 

“Alexandra is an eloquent writer, and this can clearly be seen in the fact that her plan is too long for any man to understand completely. Who’s going to sit down and read some woman’s plan if it’s over 60,000 words? Perhaps she should be an epic novel writer. This is obviously not her profession. Aren’t you glad  _ Mrs.  _ Hamilton-Schuyler can’t run for president? I am. Listen, we raised hell when the British taxed our tea. We threw tons of tea into the Harbor. How much more furious will the citizens be when you tax our whiskey? What will the consequences be then?” 

 

Alexander tried her best to keep from rolling her eyes as Washington addressed her. “Secretary Hamilton-Schuyler, your response.” 

 

“Secretary Jefferson,” Alexandra addressed Thomas, “that was quite a moving declaration, but you have to consider the fact that we’re running a real nation here and your ideals can’t fit here. Would you like to join us or continue being comfortable and backward in Monticello?” 

 

A handful of people, both in the crowd and Cabinet chuckled. Alexandra had a way of sneak-dissing that Jefferson hadn’t seemed to master and that enabled her to remain innocent and well-liked by most of the men in the Cabinet. After all, if the President saw potential in her, the rest of the men (excluding Jefferson) figured they should give her a shot as well. 

Jefferson looked slightly indignant, but didn’t dare interrupt her. 

 

“If we assume state debts,” she continued, stifling the smug smirk that was about to paint her features, “that would bundle together the credit arrangements for the states, creating a new line of credit. It also boosts our negotiation strength in regards to foreign transactions. That would benefit more than the Treasury Department. Also, Mr. Jefferson? I find it ironic that you talk big game about liberty when, if I heard correctly, you yourself kept slaves, depriving them of their liberty  _ and  _ their happiness. Also, you may have written those words, but it was more of a remix of John Locke’s philosophy. Nice try, though. You say agriculture is the source of wealth? You only support it so much because you don’t have to do it.” 

 

Another round of chuckles, and Thomas was looking even more indignant. 

 

“Sir, you didn’t even fight in the War that you seem to want to throw in my face. I have people very close to me that almost died or even died in that War while you were far away from the fray, in France. Never mind that you’re just as useful in regards to the American government in your presence here as you were in France. Your reluctance to do what Washington tells you or to take any risks with government proves that. You’re not fit for a place in government---no, take a seat,” Alexandra said as Jefferson began to stand up from the seat he occupied. 

 

Washington saw a digression and the tension between Jefferson and Alexandra and interrupted. “I’m afraid we’ll have to stop for a short break. Jefferson, take a walk. You need it. Hamilton-Schuyler, a word.” 

 

Alexandra went over to Washington and he led her to a place nearby where he could talk to her privately. 

 

“Alexandra, I saw you get a little heated there. I’m surprised you didn’t curse him out.” 

 

“Well, George, that may have been a little too over-the-top for a debate.” 

 

Jefferson and Madison approached them, and the President at that moment resembled a father whose children just couldn’t get along. 

 

“You don’t have the votes, Secretary,” Jefferson said to Alexandra smugly. “I mean, you’ll need congressional approval, and you don’t have the votes to make your horrendous plan go through. In fact, the plan is such a failure that it makes me wonder why I even address it.” 

 

Alexandra glared at Jefferson with angry blue eyes and Washington knew that if he didn’t interfere, it could get ugly. 

 

“Jefferson, Madison, back in your lane. Go back to your seats.” 

 

Jefferson and Madison went back to their seats. Washington turned back to Alexandra. “Are you going to pull yourself together, Alexandra?” 

 

“George, those two are birds of a feather. It must be because they’re from Virginia.” 

 

“Young lady, I’m from Virginia. It’d do you well to watch yourself.” 

 

Alexandra huffed, emulating the attitude of a fifteen-year-old. Washington shook his head in frustration. 

 

“So does this mean you’re just going to let them take hold of Congress even though they clearly know not what they’re doing?” Alexandra asked, keeping her tone somewhat in control. 

 

“You need the congressional votes, no matter who dominates Congress.”

 

“I may need the votes, sir, but regardless of that, America  _ needs _ my plan. I know it isn’t foolproof, but you and I both know it isn’t as bad as Jefferson says.” 

 

“You’re right, Alexandra,” Washington said, “and I want this plan to pass, that’s why I’m urging you to find a way to win Congress over.” 

 

“Well, James Madison is clearly not on my side,” Alexandra glanced over at Madison and Jefferson, “so that’s out of the question.”

 

“Winning is easy, dear girl, but governing is harder.”

 

“Madison and Jefferson are too stubborn, sir, I doubt they’d be willing to try.” 

 

“You have to reach a compromise with these men.” 

 

“Sir, those two don’t even have a plan, they just want to put mine down for the simple fact that I’m a woman and they don’t like change.” 

 

“Convince them otherwise. Prove to them that just because you’re a woman, it doesn’t mean you’re any less able to govern than they are.”

 

“And if I don’t get congressional approval?”

 

“Then Congress will probably want to remove you from office. You’re already hanging by a thin thread here, anyways.”

 

Alexandra frowned. “Sir--”

 

“Just figure it out, Alexandra. That’s an order.” 

  
  


After the debate, Jefferson and Madison caught Alexandra without Washington.

 

“Miss Hamilton-Schuyler!” Jefferson laughed. “That was one  _ hell  _ of an argument in there. Too bad you still don’t have congressional approval. I wish I could say that I’ll be sorry to see you go, but I won’t.” 

“Spare me, Jefferson,” Alexandra said, “I believe I’ve had enough of your mouth today. Your argument was one hell of an advertisement for Virginia, by the way, but it doesn’t quite invalidate my plan, so good luck trying to shoot it down again, considering the fact that, like I said, you didn’t fight in the war, don’t have much experience with guns, and along with that don’t have much room to talk.” 

 

Jefferson laughed, although Alexandra could see that she’d almost struck a nerve. “God be with you, Alexandra. You’re going to need him, I reckon.” 

 

Alexandra watched in anger as Jefferson and Madison strode away. 

  
_ Just you wait, Thomas Jefferson. Just you wait.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra is too sassy for the government. 
> 
> A kudos a day a soduk a   
> A comment a day a tnemmoc a   
> A bookmark a day a kramkoob   
> A subscription a day a noitpircsbus
> 
> I've decided "Kramkoob" is a word.


	7. You Got Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra finds out a shocking secret and turns to the least-likely person for comfort.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, there's another Cabinet Battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First half of chapter inspired by CreepyCrepeMusic's suggestion.
> 
> Second half of chapter adapted from "Cabinet Battle #2"

“No, Alexandra, wait!” A half-dressed Elijah Schuyler rushed to chase a very angry and hurt Alexandra Hamilton-Schuyler out of their house. She was about to cry but knew that would solve nothing and blinked back the tears as she whirled around. 

“Wait for  _ what _ , exactly, Elijah? Wait for you to explain  _ why _ I found you with another woman in  _ our  _ bed? We’re through, Elijah!” 

“You don’t have anywhere else to go!” Elijah said, knowing that apologizing would do no good. 

“That’s not true,” Alexandra argued. She paused and then took her ring off. “I ought to throw this into the Hudson!” 

“Alexandra, please,” Elijah seemed to beg, “it was a mistake.” 

“A mistake? I wouldn’t call letting a woman who isn’t your wife into your bed and fornicating with her a  _ mistake _ !” 

“Well, surely you weren’t satisfying him,” the mistress said. 

“I know you. You look familiar. You’re married to a British soldier, aren’t you?” 

“How...how did you know?” 

“A former colleague of mine used to know you,” Alexandra said, “Mrs. Prevost.”

“Who was your colleague?”

“That’s not important. What’s important is that  _ you _ ,” she turned to Elijah, “cheated on me. Like I said, we’re through!” 

She threw the ring at Elijah, picked up the skirt of her dress, and ran as far as her legs could carry her. 

She stopped outside a familiar house. 

_ Why here?  _ She asked inside her head. But she was tired and upset, and she didn’t want to try to find somewhere else to go. 

Alexandra hesitated before knocking on Aaron Burr’s front door. 

 

“Alexandra?” 

She looked rough, to say the least. Her eyes were red and puffy, she didn’t look as composed as a politician should or as she usually did. 

“Are you alright?” Aaron Burr looked at his former co worker in concern and disbelief. How could someone as strong as her look so broken at this point? She’d had insults thrown at her by so many men, and she’d stayed tough. John Laurens, whom she’d claimed to love, had been killed, but she’d managed to keep a good head. What had done this to her?

“Aaron, Elijah cheated on me,” Alexandra said through new tears, as if telling somebody else brought fresh and more intense hurt on. 

Aaron instinctively but reluctantly took Alexandra into one arm, closing the door with the other. “I’m so sorry, Alexandra,” he said, wrapping his other arm around her and pulling her into a hug. 

“I can’t believe he would do that,” she cried into his chest, muffled by the fabric of his shirt. 

“I can’t imagine why,” Aaron said, “he has one of the greatest women in the country by his side and he took it for granted.”

Alexandra looked up at Aaron, surprised by his opinion. “Do you really think that?” 

“Yes. It may not seem like that,” Aaron said, “but you are a great woman. You have remained strong through the most unimaginable things possible and you’ve made it to where you’re governing. He is a fool for not seeing that.” 

“Thank you,” Alexandra said. 

“Are you going back?” Aaron asked.

“Of course not.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll find someplace,” Alexandra said, pulling away from him. “Thanks for the...comfort, anyways. I guess I’ll see you around?”

Aaron longed to ask her to stay with him, but she was vulnerable and he decided he shouldn’t take advantage of that. “Sure,” he said. 

 

Soon enough, Alexandra compromised with Madison and Jefferson about her plan, and the capital was moved south so that her plan could go through. 

 

Elijah Schuyler sat hunched over in his chair, his head in his hands. How could he make such a horrible decision? How could he lose Alexandra? What an idiot. He heard footsteps and turned around. 

“Burr?” 

“Schuyler.” 

“How’s your wife? I don’t see her anywhere,” Burr asked, looking around for effect. 

“She’s not available at the moment; did you need to speak with her?” Elijah asked, maintaining a formal tone. 

“It’s ironic how you ask that. No, I’ve already spoken to her,” Burr looked Elijah straight in the eye and continued, “and she told me all about how you cheated on her.”

“You don’t have much room to talk about fidelity, Burr.” 

“Maybe you’re right, but when I was having an affair, I wasn’t married! On top of that, I wasn’t married to Alexandra Hamilton! Have you an idea of how lucky you were? I was the first to meet her when she came to New York,” Burr said, not stopping to think about what he was saying for once. “And I fell for her. But you got her. John Laurens, rest his soul, loved her and died. You got her. She accepted your proposal. I was invited to your wedding and I came. I had surrendered. You claimed she made you happy. If so, why would you need someone else?”

“You don’t understand, Burr, she never had time for me. It was always all about her work.”

“That was  _ all she knew _ . Alexandra has very little concept of romantic love, but her work is her true love. It’s what she built herself up to. What did you expect from her? A housewife? Someone to have your children and attend your fancy gatherings, attached to your arm and staying silent? You didn’t get any of those things. Instead, you got a brilliant woman whom you took for granted. Shame on you. You got her, and you lost her because of your own selfishness.” 

“Get out of my house, Burr.”

“Gladly. You can drown in your guilt on your own. I’ve got a Cabinet Meeting to attend.” 

“They’re letting  _ you _ in to watch that?”

“I have an invitation from the Secretary Treasurer, herself.” 

Burr left, feeling victorious. 

 

Washington addressed the crowd that was gathered to watch this debate, “The issue on the table here tonight is whether or not we should provide aid and troops to our French allies whom are on the verge of war with Britain or stay out of it? Remember, congressional approval does not apply here. You only have to convince me. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir.”

 

Alexandra sighed, knowing that this couldn’t be good if it was Thomas Jefferson. 

 

“When we needed the French most, they helped us out. They didn’t ask for anything but that we would return the favor and lend a hand when they were in trouble. I firmly believe that we should stand with our French allies and fight the British with them.”

 

Burr wondered what kind of idiot would ram America into another fight when it was still a young nation and could fizzle out if the government wasn’t careful.

 

Alexandra scoffed at Jefferson’s idea, but he didn’t hear it. 

 

“The best kind of revolution is messy. It’s refreshing. It strengthens the power of liberty. That’s why we should stand with our allies as they fight a tyrant. Now, I know Alexandra Hamilton-Schuyler is here and she would rather not talk about this. She’d rather avoid the real subjects that mean anything. You know, just money. Mrs. Hamilton-Schuyler is not Secretary of State though and does not have a say in foreign matters. It’d be better if she didn’t speak at all tonight.” 

 

_ This man has got some nerve,  _ Burr thought angrily. He looked over at Alexandra, who smirked at the words  _ it’d be better if she didn’t speak at all tonight _ . Anyone who knew her knew she was going to talk, like it or not. 

 

“Obviously, Mrs. Hamilton-Schuyler knows nothing of loyalty. Or, at least, her husband doesn’t, which would make one question her judgment as well.”

 

Aaron Burr wanted to rip this guy to shreds. Alexandra did, as well, and would get the chance to come back in a minute. 

 

“That’s irrelevant,” Washington stated tensely. 

 

“Sorry, sir. Anyways, Madam Secretary came up from poverty only by marriage and is new money. I assume that’s  _ why _ she married Mr. Elijah Schuyler--” the crowd gasped at the insult”--also, she’s so incorrigibly desperate to get to the top, but such a poor-born and rich married woman as she is disrupts the primary idea of our nation that there should be a fixed elite running it. You know, the Federalist way.” 

 

Alexandra was gritting her teeth inside her closed mouth. 

 

“Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Madam Secretary, your response?”

 

“Jefferson, you can’t seriously think that the President is going to listen to you and risk the prosperity of our nation by meddling in something that has absolutely nothing to do with us? Besides, France has no leadership. That’s not something we want to get in the middle of. It’s a disaster. We signed treaties with a King who is now no longer alive, so who are we, as a new nation, to throw ourselves into a fight like this where there is no leadership? Our involvement would only make things worse for the French.”

 

“Enough. Hamilton-Schuyler is right.” 

 

“Mr. President--” Jefferson tried indignantly but was cut off by Washington.

 

“If we’re in the process of building a country, why possibly tear it down by going to war  _ again _ ?” 

 

“But, sir, do we not fight for freedom?” 

 

“ _ Slaves _ ,” Alexandra mouthed to Jefferson, reminding him of his hypocrisy. 

 

“We can fight for French freedom when they find someone to lead them,” Washington said, not noticing Alexandra’s taunt. 

 

“The people are leading!”

 

“The people are rioting, there’s a difference. It’s unnerving that you would let your ideas blind you to reality. Mrs. Hamilton-Schuyler, draft a statement of Neutrality.”

 

Jefferson caught up with Alexandra after the debate--again, this time without Madison around.

 

“Did you forget Lafayette?” 

 

“ _ Lafayette? _ ” How dare he bring her friend into this?

 

“Have you an ounce of regret?” Jefferson further questioned. “You get your debt plan through, and you rise to power, but when the hand that feeds you is hungry, you bite it?” 

 

Burr was standing by, listening, but neither Secretary noticed. 

 

“Firstly, Lafayette is now irrelevant where the war in France is concerned. I don’t suppose you know that he had to flee for his life and that he lost his spot in government? No? Okay. Don’t guilt trip me when you don’t have all the facts. Besides, Lafayette was my friend before he was yours. I know him. He’ll be fine. And, Jefferson? Where do we draw the line? We can’t jump into every war. We’ll never stop.” 

 

“Quite persuasive, Madam Secretary.” 

 

“Guaranteed.” 

 

“Someone ought to remind you, though. You’re nothing without the President behind you.”

“Hamilton-Schuyler!” 

 

“Father’s calling,” Jefferson said mockingly. Alexandra walked away. 

 

“Thomas Jefferson?” Burr asked. The man turned around. 

“Who are you?” 

“Just a concerned citizen. I thought you should know some things. Attacking someone personally isn’t what political debates are for. You wanna get ahead, Jefferson?” 

 

“Of course.”

 

“Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.”

 

“Is that a threat?”

 

“No, sir. I’m just confident someone will kill you for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Good day to you, sir.” Burr walked away. 

 

_ Who in the hell was that? _ Jefferson thought.


	8. Schuyler Defeated/One Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t decide if you’re really brave or just stupid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did mess around a little with the musical's chronology, which is messing around with already-messed-around chronology, and I'm sorry for the messed-up chronology.

“You’re going to switch political parties?” Alexandra asked Burr. She’d been staying at his house in his guest bedroom for a while now, and they were discussing politics over dinner. 

“Yes,” Burr nodded. “I am.” 

“In order to take Philip Schuyler’s seat in the Senate?” Alexandra asked. 

“Yes,” he repeated.

“I can’t decide if you’re really brave or just stupid,” Alexandra said wryly. 

Burr glared at her. “What?” she said defensively. “You know how powerful Schuyler is.”

“Yes, I do,” Burr said, “but wouldn’t it just be a loss for the family of the man who cheated you?”

“If you want revenge, take revenge on Elijah himself, not his family. I still have love for Philip and Angelo.”

“Philip is the man who raised Elijah. Perhaps he should’ve done a better job.” 

Alexandra looked at the table, biting her lip. “You don’t have to do this to get back at Elijah.” 

“It’s not only that. Maybe I want to be more than a lawyer.”

“So you’re switching loyalties to gain influence? That’s not good at all,” Alexandra said. “That would make some assume you can’t be trusted.”

“Do you think I can’t be trusted?”

“Might I remind you of Theodosia Prevost?”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes.” 

There was a moment of silence.

“So, you don’t trust me?”

“No, not entirely.”

“What will make you change your mind?”

“My mind’s not easily changed. Your disloyalty to your party doesn’t help.” 

“It’s not disloyalty.”

“It’s dirty either way,” Alexandra said, “and I don’t like it. I’m going to go talk to the President. I’ll see you later.” 

 

Burr won the Senate seat, and he discovered that Alexandra had disappeared when he returned back home. She didn’t even leave a note. 

 

He found her outside the pub they met at, arms folded, staring at the building. 

“Alexandra?”

“Aaron Burr, sir.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m just reminding myself of who we were before all of this,” Alexandra said. “The day I met you and you gave me the worst advice I could have ever heard, and then I met Hercules Mulligan, Lafayette, and... _ John _ .” 

Coming out of her mouth, the South Carolinian’s name was painted with pain and longing and regret. Aaron couldn’t deny it: Alexandra would always love John Laurens.

“I’m sure you’re exaggerating,” he said, “it wasn’t the worst advice.” 

Alexandra stayed silent. 

“Alexan-” 

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she said in a tense tone of voice. “I hope you’re the best damn Senator the world has ever seen. Because if not,” she turned to Burr, flashing her eyes, “you’ll have disappointed me for nothing.” She turned back to the building. “You know, we’ve all grown into something since that day. Me, I’ve grown into being part of the federal government. Hercules...I actually don’t know what he’s doing. I hope he’s doing well. John, he’s a martyr in my eyes. Lafayette did the best he could with what he had. And you? You’re a fraud.”

“Alexand-”

“No, you are. You have no loyalty, you just figure out what you think is best for you to do to climb, and you’ve done it! At what cost? Are you going to do anything worthwhile? If not, you might as well step down now. And, might I remind you, any Democratic-Republican is against  _ me _ , and you are now on the losing side.” 

“Alexandra, I might be opposing you politically now, but I’m not opposing you personally. As I’ve said before, my feelings are real. I am only trying to climb the ladder, it has nothing to do with you.

You are a completely different story. When I look at you, I don’t see the stressed, workaholic politician that everyone else sees. When...when I look at you, I see the girl that approached me in that very pub, the one who was new to New York City and thought she would do everything she set her mind to...and did. I see the girl that I danced with at that ball...that I kissed on impulse but long to kiss again. I see a girl I’m in love with who won’t take me because she thinks I’m a manwhore and a fraud.”

Alexandra was speechless, mouth agape. When she could speak again she asked, “You’re in love with me?”

“You say it as if it’s hard to believe,” Aaron said.

“Well, everyone who loves me leaves,” Alexandra said, looking back at the pub. 

“I won’t, if you give me a chance to be with you.” 

Alexandra looked at him for a long time, contemplating. 

“Aaron, that’s a conflict of interest,” Alexandra said, regret strong in her tone. “I can’t do that.” 

Aaron took Alexandra’s hand. “Can you leave politics out of this for just a second?” 

Alexandra reluctantly nodded.

“Okay. How do you really feel?” Aaron asked, looking directly into those intense eyes. 

As they looked into each other’s eyes longer, Alexandra’s seemed to soften. “I...I love you, Aaron, but---”

“That’s all I need is for you to love me, Alexandra. I’m sure we can differentiate between love and law.” 

“We could give it a shot,” Alexandra said quietly. 

Aaron took the opportunity then to gently press his lips to Alexandra’s, pulling away too soon. 

“We should go home. It’s getting late,” he suggested.

Alexandra took another look at the pub before agreeing. “I suppose so.” Aaron couldn’t see it, but the Treasury Secretary was blushing like a young teenager who had just gotten her first kiss. 

 

George Washington had requested to see Alexandra early one afternoon. 

 

“Mister President, you asked to see me?”

 

“I know you’re busy, Alexandra,” Washington started. 

 

“Nonsense, what do you need?” 

 

“I want to give you a word of warning.” 

 

“I don’t know what you heard, sir, but--” 

 

“Thomas Jefferson resigned this morning.” 

 

“Surely not!”  

 

“He did. I need a favor.” 

 

“Sir, whatever he did, Jefferson will pay for his behavior.”

 

George chuckled. “Mrs. Hamilton, talk less. I need you to draft an address. Jefferson’s stepping down to run for president.”

 

“Is he contemplating political suicide running against you, sir?”

 

“I’m stepping down. I’m not running for President.”

 

“Sir...you’re not running?”

 

“Didn’t I just say so?”

 

“With France and Britain on the verge of war is this the best time--”

 

“Madam, pick up a pen and start writing. In this address, I want to warn against partisan fighting.”

 

“Sir, the people will still want you to serve, and--and you could…” Alexandra trailed off..

 

“No,” Washington shook his head, “I’m not serving another four years.” 

 

“They’ll say you’re weak if you step down now,” Alexandra said even though she was losing hope.

 

“But they will see how strong the country is even without me,” Washington countered.

 

“Your position is so unique.”

 

“I’ll use it to move them along.”

“Why do you have to say goodbye?” Alexandra asked, doing her best to hide her emotion. It was as if she was losing another parent. And, admittedly, Washington held her up. Who would after he was no longer president?

 

“If I step down now, the nation learns to move on,” Washington said, “and I long to go home. It’s for the best.” 

  
Alexandra drafted the address, and after hours of writing, set the quill down and swore to herself that she could hear her future regarding her career smash into a million pieces as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FORGIVE ME.


	9. This Is Not A Chapter and I'm Sorry BUT

You guyssss, I'm so sorry but I have been stuck in a rut with this story that I cannot get out of SO  _I need your help_. 

 

Desperately. I am suffering from really bad writer's block and I need ideas.

 

_Please_. I  _beg of you_. 


	10. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelo confronts Elijah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know this is short, but please bear with me. 
> 
> Since I am starting another fem!Alex fanfic, I will have to put this story on a schedule. From now on (unless something comes up), updates for this story will be on Saturdays. 
> 
> Again, so sorry for how short it is. I promise the next one will be longer.

Angelo Schuyler stood outside the home of his brother, Elijah. He prepared himself for all he was about to say to his brother and knocked on the door. 

Elijah opened the door and said “Angelo!” 

 

“Elijah...congratulations,” Angelo said as he entered and his brother shut the door behind him. 

“You have invented a new kind of stupid, brother.” 

“Oh, god...you know,” Elijah said in dread.

“A damage you can never undo kind of stupid. An open-all-the-cages in the zoo kind of stupid. Truly, you didn’t think this through? Kind of stupid.” 

“Angelo…” 

“Let’s review: you met a girl at a ball, married her, and then when she climbed to the top, you felt abandoned. You begged her to take a break, she refused to. You were so scared that she would up and leave you that you retaliated in advance by cheating on her! You made yourself your own enemy. Congratulations!” 

Elijah looked at his brother, mortified and not even willing to respond. 

“You married a legend, and you took it for granted. Congratulations!” 

“She wasn’t willing to make a sacrifice!” 

“Sacrifice?” Angelo asked, seeming to look out the window into the past. “Elijah, I married a woman and set off to London. She didn’t even love me and was using me for my money. I lived only to read the letters that sweet Alexandra would send me, updating me on your lives. I look at you and think, what have we done with our lives, and what did it get us? I’m back and I’m here to stay, and I’d like to think I was here for you, but I’m not.” 

Elijah hung his head as Angelo continued.

“Alexandra and I are just alike, I know her like I know my own mind. You will never find any woman as intelligent or as kind. And a million years ago, you said to me ‘This one’s mine’ so I stood by…do you know why?” Angelo asked. 

Elijah looked up. 

“I love you, brother, more than anything in this life, and I will choose your happiness over mine every time, but Elijah! She was the best thing in our lives, and I hope you’ve realized you had been blessed with the best wife! Again, congratulations! For the rest of your life, you will never be worthy of her love or give her the best life!” Angelo took a deep breath, signaling the end of this verbal attack. 

“So, wait, Angelo? You loved Alexandra?” 

“Of course I did, Elijah. But I saw the way you looked at her and I knew I had to give her up to you, and look what you’ve done with it!” Angelo scoffed. “Now she’s with Aaron Burr! What were you thinking, Elijah? You could have supported your wife, the only woman brave enough to stand up for her beliefs, but no, you weren’t satisfied. You wanted a homemaker. Congratulations, Elijah. You don’t have a wife nor do you have a homemaker.” 

“I know I made a mistake.” 

“Either fix it or live with it.” 

 

“I can’t fix it. And I don’t want to.” 

“You idiot.” 

“I’m not an idiot.” 

“Yes, you are. Don’t argue that point. You had a great girl and you take that for granted.” 

Angelo exited and slammed the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have created a twitter for my fem!Alex so go follow @AlexHamSky on Twitter.
> 
> I have also created a Tumblr so go follow thatdamnhamiltonfanman


	11. The Adams Administration/Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra gets a lot of startling news and burns some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!!! I'm not having an update schedule, being put on a schedule pisses me off.
> 
> I had a huge case of writing fever and you'll be able to tell that with this hella-long chapter.
> 
> The idea for the second part of the chapter comes from Togor. 
> 
> Enjoy!

John Adams was the president now, and Thomas Jefferson his vice President. Alexandra didn’t see how that was going to work, a Federalist President and a Democratic-Republican as his vice. Alexandra’s first meeting with Adams would prove to be one of the worst in her life. 

He called her into his office not long after he was sworn in, and it was unreal to Alexandra that when she stepped into the office, George Washington wasn’t sitting there with a proud half-smile on his face, congratulating her for getting her plan through Congress.

 

“Hello, Miss Hamilton-Schuyler,” Adams said, and Alexandra tensed. She thought everyone had known never to used her married name again, especially since she’d had the marriage nullified months before. “I called you in here to discuss your future in my administration.” 

 

Alexandra was still unable to accept that this was not Washington’s administration anymore. That this was a shorter and totally different man that Washington, that this wasn’t going to be the man that treated her like his daughter, that this wasn’t the man who was the father Alexandra never had. 

 

“Yes, sir, what about it?” Alexandra asked with somewhat forced respect, still unable to accept that this was real. 

 

“As you know, the American government is supposed to be a representation of the American Dream, American citizens, things we fought for,” Adams started. Alexandra nodded in total agreement. “And, Miss Hamilton-Schuyler--” Alexandra tried her hardest not to visibly cringe at the name “--you might represent the American Dream of coming here and making something out of yourself, using America as a stepstool to power, but you weren’t born here. You were born in a place in the Caribbean that nobody talks about and where I’m sure no one is aware of American values. You can’t fully understand all it took to get to where we are. Furthermore, you’re a woman and you didn’t even fight in the war in which we gained our independence. Since you can’t represent our country properly, being the creole bastard you are, you have no place in my government any longer.”  

 

Alexandra didn’t think she’d ever been so insulted in her life. “President Adams,” she addressed him carefully, “I did make something out of myself, sir, and I helped build the country you now lead. I didn’t use the country, sir, I helped create it for you to use. Sure, I was born in the Caribbean and nobody talks about that, but  _ everyone _ is talking about this great country. The people in Nevis, no, they may not be aware of American values, but trust me, I  _ am _ . Sir, you’re making a mistake in judging me. I didn’t fight in the war, but I was very close with people that fought in that war and I still see the damage in their eyes when I look at them. You say I don’t understand all it took to get America to where it was? You seem to have been in the shadows up until recently, sir. I am the Mother of the Revolution and a Founding Mother of this country. What are you? A runner-up to George Washington. I just can’t wait to see what you do, President Adams.” 

 

She stormed out of the office, and Jefferson caught her by her shoulder. “I heard all that,” he said, the mocking tone of his voice gone. 

 

“And?” She asked. She was ready to shoot off her mouth more if need be. 

 

“And, I’m sorry. I know we had a rivalry on the floor and that I brought very personal things into it unnecessarily, but I regret all that and I just want you to know that you were a great leader and it’s unfair that he should do that to you.”

 

Alexandra was taken aback. “Thank you for your apology, Thomas.” 

 

Later on, she wrote a letter to George, filling him in on the details. 

 

_ Dear Father George,  _

 

_ John Adams, your successor, called me into his office today to “discuss my future in his administration”. What he should have said was my lack of a future. He fired me because apparently I don’t represent the American Dream, and, excuse my language, sir, am a “creole bastard”.  I feel as if Mr. Adams will take our country to a terrible place, and he made a severe mistake in firing me.  _

 

_ I hope you are doing well, though, sir. I hope you feel comfortable, stress-free, and secure in Mt. Vernon. I would hope that there is at least one of us that feels that way. _

 

_ Your daughter in heart, _

 

_ Alexandra Hamilton _

 

She sent the letter and waited until Aaron got home. The mail had arrived and there was a letter from Theodosia Prevost, addressed to both Aaron Burr and Alexandra Hamilton. 

 

_ Dear A. Burr and A. Hamilton, _

 

_ It is with regret that I write this letter. I know neither of you wanted to hear from me again, but it is important that you do.  _

 

_ To Alexandra, you do not know how extremely sorry I am that I was the mistress of your husband Elijah. I feel awful knowing that I was the disruption of a beautiful union. Alexandra, I could never be the same as you are. He complained that you focused too much on your work. I can only hope to have the intense work ethic and zeal that you possess. You are a legend, and I was very stupid to seduce your husband and destroy his part in your legend. He was lucky to have you, and he gave that up for a mistress. I’m sorry.  _

_ I am afraid that I have news that will affect the both of you. I’ve received news that I am pregnant. I am not yet sure if it is yours, Aaron, or Elijah’s. I’m afraid I won’t know until the child is born. However, if this child is yours, I understand if you don’t want any part in its life. That would mean you’d have to deal with me and I know that’s not something either of you want. You don’t have to write back if you don’t desire to.  _

 

_ Theodosia Prevost _

 

After they’d both recovered from their shock, Alexandra said, “how dare she?”

 

“I think it’s quite courteous of her to apologize,” Aaron said. 

 

“Courteous, maybe, but unnecessary,” Alexandra retorted. “She felt the need to apologize to me for sleeping with my husband? How noble. If she thought it was such a beautiful union, then she would have never disrupted it. Then she resorts to flattery. I don’t believe a bit of it. Except, maybe, that she is pregnant. That wouldn’t be totally impossible.” 

 

“It might be mine,” Aaron said, looking out the window. “What if it’s mine? Will you leave me?”

“Of course not, Aaron, I’ve lost too much already, and what do I look like leaving you just because you have a child with someone else?” Alexandra said. “If, in fact, you do.” 

 

“You’re right,” Aaron said. “I guess we’ll just have to see.” 

 

There was a knock at the door. Aaron opened it to see Angelo Schuyler. 

“Angelo?” Alexandra asked in surprise. “I thought you were in London?”

“Well, I came as soon as I heard,” Angelo said, “that my little brother cheated on you.” 

“And what are you here for?” Aaron asked. 

“I’m here to see if Alexandra is alright,” Angelo said. 

“I’m fine, in regards to Elijah,” Alexandra said. “Are you alright? Why are you back in New York?”

“Joan and I thought it best that since we didn’t really love each other, we shouldn’t be together. I’ll be damn lucky if I find somebody wealthy whom I actually do love. All those women are pampered and can’t think for themselves.”

“Well, not all women are Alexandra, unfortunately,” Aaron said. 

“I agree.” 

There was a somewhat tense silence.

“President Adams fired me,” Alexandra said to break the silence.

“What?” Aaron asked at the same time Angelo asked “Why?” 

“Because I don’t represent America properly and I didn’t fight in the war,” Alexandra said. 

“There ought to be some way you can punish him for that,” Angelo said.

“I’d rather not have more conflict in my life than there already is, Angelo,” Alexandra said. “Trust me, I’d love to write a pamphlet exposing the man, but how would I benefit from that? It’s best I keep silent.” 

“Alexandra, can I talk to you alone?” Angelo asked, looking over at Aaron, who nodded. Angelo and Alexandra stepped out onto the porch and Aaron closed the door behind them. 

“I can’t believe Aaron Burr actually trusts another man,” Alexandra remarked, chuckling. 

“Do you really think it’s best you keep silent, or are you stifling yourself because that’s Burr’s philosophy?”

Alexandra sighed. “Angelo, there were  many things I learned over the course of my political career. One of those things is to not pick a fight you won’t win. If I were to retaliate by thrashing him with words, it would be me, a now-unemployed former government official, against the President of the United States of America. I will have lost before I even raise my quill to write the first slanderous word.” 

Angelo seemed to understand. “So, I spoke to Elijah. I gave him a piece of my mind.” 

“Oh, well, heaven help him,” Alexandra laughed. “Why?”

“Because he cheated on you, Alexandra,” Angelo said, “and I was furious. Do you know how many men wanted you that night?” 

Alexandra looked at Angelo and furrowed her brow. “No..you can’t have...” 

Angelo nodded. 

Alexandra turned and leaned with her hands on the porch rail. She hung her head. “For the love of God, Angelo. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because Elijah wanted you, too. And you weren’t wealthy. I figured it was the best decision. I mean, you’d always be near if you were with Elijah,” Angelo asked, reluctant to approach Alexandra. He feared she might blow up on him.

“Look what happened to that,” Alexandra said, still facing away from Angelo. 

“And now you’re with Aaron Burr,” Angelo said. “Why?”

Alexandra picked her head up and looked out of the corner of her eye over her shoulder. “Aaron has always loved me. Aaron comforted me when I needed it. He still does. He was  _ all _ I had left, Angelo. Elijah cheated on me, John died, you married and went to London, Lafayette moved back to France, I don’t know where the hell Hercules is, George, whom I consider a father, has left and gone back to Mount Vernon. Aaron’s been here this whole time. I love him, he loves me.”

Angelo stepped closer to Alexandra now. “And if I’d never married and ran away?” 

Alexandra scoffed and looked out in front of her, out into the street. “It wouldn’t have worked, Angelo. I’m not wealthy, as you said.” 

“What if I turned out not to give a damn whether or not you were rich?” 

“It might have changed things then, but not now. Angelo, did you come here to convince me to love you?”

Angelo looked down. “I had hopes. Alexandra, can you look at me?” 

“Angelo, if I look at you,  I’ll cry, so I’d better not. You look so much like your brother, it kills me.” 

Angelo disregarded the brother remark and stepped closer, putting a hand on Alexandra’s shoulder. “Did you ever have any romantic feelings for me?”

Alexandra glanced back at the hand on her shoulder. “At first. But everyone leaves, don’t they? Speaking of which, I think it’s about time for you to go.” 

“Burr’s not the one,” Angelo said. 

“It’s time for you to go,” Alexandra repeated more forcefully. 

Angelo nodded. “I’m sorry, Alexandra. When can I come visit you again?” 

“Maybe in a couple of days. I do enjoy your friendship,” Alexandra said. 

Angelo pulled Alexandra into a hug, but it wasn’t long so that if there was a chance Burr caught them hugging, he wouldn’t assume anything. But God, Angelo could hug her forever. 

 

**...**

 

“Look at what’s in the paper!” Petey Schuyler exclaimed to his brother, Angelo. Angelo looked at the article and read it out loud. 

 

“ _ I am Elijah Schuyler, the son of former senator Philip Schuyler, and the estranged husband of Alexandra Hamilton-Schuyler, to whom I have committed a crime. I have committed a sin at my estranged wife’s expense. My beautiful, intellectual, powerful wife was too busy for me, so I’d ventured to find something to fill the void. My wife did not know about this venture and would not know for a long time, specifically five months. I had frequent meetings with my mistress, most at my own house while Alexandra was away, working. Alexandra eventually found out and shut me out of her life immediately. _ ” 

 

“How noble of him to publicize his mistake and hurt Alexandra more, rubbing it in her face!” Angelo said, his face red with anger. 

 

Meanwhile, Alexandra sat in the home she used to share with Elijah that was now abandoned except for the furniture, staring at the article, old tears threatening to come out of her eyes. She had decided to use this house as a place where she could just be alone and write without any interference. 

She looked at the stack of letters that he’d sent her during his courtship period whenever she was still staying with Lafayette and Hercules. She thought back to when he’d said:

 

“ _ Alexandra, I know it sounds crazy, but the moment you walked into the room, I lost all sense. And I danced with you, and it was the greatest experience of my life. I want to be able to dance with you for the rest of my life. Again, I know it sounds crazy, but will you marry me? _ ” 

 

“It did sound crazy,” she was whispering to herself, talking to Elijah in her mind, “and it seems you lost all sense for another. If you wanted to dance with me for the rest of your life, why did you take the floor with someone else?” 

 

She picked up each letter and read it, tears falling down her face. She’d thought he was hers. He’d said he was hers. She knew he was hers. She thought back to the night before her wedding. Angelo had discussed something with the blushing bride-to-be.

 

“ _ My brother’s impulsive, be careful with him. If he doesn’t have attention, he’ll panic and do what it takes to get it _ .” 

 

She’d thought she’d be able to give him enough attention. “I’m to blame for this,” she whispered to herself. “I drove him to this.” 

 

Everything Elijah had ever said was sweet as sugar and make Alexandra feel genuinely loved. She read the letters again. Was there any clue that he was the type to run off and find a mistress?

She knew that all her work bothered him, but she never thought he would cheat because of it. 

 

She lit the fireplace. The fire seemed to match the intensity of anger in her eyes. She started with the article, throwing it into the fire and watching it burn. Then, she threw each letter one by one, watching it all burn, finalizing the end of their love. 

 

She remembered how Jefferson would mock her with remarks of the affair. Elijah’s infidelity had ruined her, too. No one would ever forget how Alexandra Hamilton wasn’t enough for Elijah Schuyler, a member of one of the richest families in New York City. She would now be seen as the creole bastard whose husband cheated on her because she was too busy for him. 

 

Did he really think these words would clear his name? Did he really think it would improve how everyone saw him? How everyone saw her? Was he really so selfish that he needed to do this to get attention? 

 

Alexandra decided she would say nothing on the matter. Let everyone wonder, even Aaron. Even Angelo. Let them wonder how she reacted after she discovered the whole truth. Of course, Aaron knew it broke her heart, but he’d never tell anybody. Let people who don’t know never know. Let them wonder how Elijah Schuyler could tear everything apart and the victim Alexandra not say one thing about it. The forever-talking, almost rambling Alexandra...completely silent when it came to this. 

 

She continued to burn the memories, the paintings, every memory of their marriage she could find. She would pretend as if it had never happened, as if she’d never met him. Should she see him in passing, she would pretend not to see him. He had no right to know her anymore, he had no right to her heart or her bed. 

 

She hoped he burned in hell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you, I told you it was long. 
> 
> You didn't expect THAT turn of events, did you, buddy?
> 
> Anyways, I have created a twitter for my character Alexandra Hamilton so go follow @AlexHamSky so that she can sass you all to pieces. 
> 
> I also have a Tumblr, so go follow thatdamnhamiltonfanman...just if you want, though.


	12. Bundles of Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The children.

Alexandra got her reply back from Washington about a week later. 

 

_ Alexandra,  _

 

_ John Adams isn’t a very chivalrous man. Do not let his insults get to you. You shouldn’t say you lack a future, because if you decide to you will. You’re one of the leaders who built America. Remember that. We will have to see what Mr Adams does.  I do agree that he made a severe mistake in firing you, but you’ll come back from it.  _

_ I hope you are doing well, also, Alexandra.  I do feel comfortable and somewhat stress-free here, but I still worry about you.  _

 

_ Your father in heart, _

 

_ George Washington _

 

Alexandra sighed. George was right. If she decided to have a future, she would. She would start with women’s rights, and the abolition of slavery. 

 

She wrote a letter back to George regarding this plan, and then heard a knock at the door. She really hoped that it wasn’t who she’d invited to have a serious talk with, but indeed it was. It was Elijah Schuyler. 

 

“Well, come on, and you might want to sit down,” she sighed. He sat. 

“I’m sure you heard that your mistress was pregnant.”

“It’s not mine. I paid good money to confirm that.” 

Alexandra stifled a yell. That meant it was Aaron’s. 

“I’d like to inform you,” she said as formally as she could, “that I am pregnant, as well. And considering the fact that I have not had intercourse with Aaron, it’s yours.” 

Elijah seemed horrified. Then he shook his head. “You’re lying.”

“I wish I were, but I’m not,” Alexandra said. “What I invited you here for was to deliver the news and tell you that while you will not be allowed to be in this child’s life, you will provide support for it. Financial support. You owe it to me, anyways.” 

Elijah seemed a bit angry, but he nodded. “Fine. Why would you keep a child away from its own father, though?”

“Because I can’t trust you, Elijah. It’s that simple. I’m sure Aaron will make a great father figure.” 

Elijah couldn’t believe how cold Alexandra was being. “But it’s my child.”

“No, Elijah, it’s mine. You just helped make it. Anyway, I’ve said all I needed to say.” 

Elijah left, and Alexandra had a smirk on her face. She had her revenge with the help of science. She didn’t really know what she’d tell the child when he/she got older and noticed they looked nothing like Aaron. The truth, she guessed. 

 

…

 

Philip Hamilton-Burr was born, and everyone who loved him was there when he was. His mother, Alexandra, her boyfriend, Aaron, his paternal uncles, Angelo and Petey, and his grandfather, Philip. 

 

Philip had a happy childhood, his mother teaching him how to write everything from poems to pamphlets. At age seven, he was already discussing politics with his stepfather. He would have adventures with his cousins Philip, whom they called Phil to distinguish between Hamilton-Burr and Schuyler and whom was the son of Angelo, and Stephen Schuyler, son of Petey. By age 14, he was having intellectual debates with his stepsister, Theodosia Burr. 

 

“Mother,” Philip said one day at sixteen years old, “there’s a peer of mine that has been talking about you at school.”

“They all talk, Philip,” Alexandra said, wrapping an arm around her son’s shoulders. “They might forever. What did he say?”

“He said you were the stupidest Founding Parent just because you were a woman,” Philip said. 

Alexandra rolled her eyes. “If I were stupid, son, I wouldn’t be a Founding Parent.” She grinned at her son. 

“It was George Eacker,” Theodosia cut in, “he was the one who said that.”

“That’s Jacob Eacker’s son. Lord, no wonder,” Alexandra chuckled. “My dear children, a lot of people don’t like me, but always remember to have grace, and always stand up for what you believe in.” 

“My friend Richard almost pulled out his pistol, but I stopped him,” Philip said. 

“Violence isn’t the way, son.” 

“He also called us ‘damned rascals’,” Philip said.

“Well, you  _ are  _ rascals,” Alexandra said, ruffling her son’s hair, “but not damned. Just ignore them. If I had heeded to the insults I got during the prime of my career, I would never have risen as high as I did.” 

“Okay,” Philip nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the end! Let me know in the comments if you want a Philip Hamilton-Burr centered sequel!


End file.
